Tuesday, April 15, 2014

High Fashun

Have you ever been at a fancy funeral or a birthday party at the Pentagon and thought "I wish my t-shirt really made a statement about how dignified I am"? Well friends, wish no more! Introducing the Gold Digger T-Shirt, exclusive from Joey Ellis Incorporated, the industry leader in drawing fat floating heads with silly faces.

The Gold Digger T-Shirt from Cotton Bureau is guaranteed to have people saying "Who invited that person?" and "Why are you hiding in my closet?" and "Please stop eating my garbage". The Gold Digger T-Shirt uses water-based ink on a Heather Black, poly-cotton t-shirt from American Apparel that will leave your body soft, smooth and better looking than ever before. The Gold Digger T-Shirt also comes in man sizes and lady sizes and is the perfect gift for any occasion or court appearance.

You may be asking "Hey, haven't I seen this artwork before?" and "So... you're just recycling your old ideas to make a quick buck?" Dear friends, America was BORN on recycling old ideas into new ways to con people out of money achieve the American Dream™! In fact, I can't think of anything more UN-American than coming up with an original idea! Think of this as a reboot, and there's nothing more American than a reboot, save from meat on sticks and jean shorts.

Time is of the essence, dear friends, and the Gold Digger T-Shirt is available ONLY for a limited time, which means you need to buy one TODAY! It's easy! Simply find a computer (the glowing rectangle things at the library), enter www.cottonbureau.com into your Netscape browser, follow the instructions and buy as many Gold Digger T-Shirts as your credit card will allow! I'm really looking forward to seeing how amazing you look in your new Gold Digger T-Shirt!


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